How to Provide and Protect Your Family | Psalm 127:1-5

How to Provide and Protect Your Family | Psalm 127:1-5

Darien Gabriel

Series: The Psalms

Scripture: Psalm 127:1-5 (main); Luke 15:11-32

Title: How to Provide for and Protect Your Family

Heavy credit: (See below for bibliography)

Summary of passage:

Bottom Line: Hard work + Discipline + Divine Support = Fruitfulness that will last; “For apart from me you can do nothing.” -Jesus

Discussion questions for group and personal study.

Reflect and Discuss in your groups:

Psalm 127

OPEN: How many siblings did you have?

What was the biggest family that you knew?

Can you name all their kids?

CONSIDER (V. 2): What causes you the most worry?

What do you tend to lose sleep over?

Does this verse help at all? Why?

CONSIDER (WV. 3-5): In today's society, what have you heard are the disadvantages to having children?

From what you have read in the Bible and heard

in the church, what are the advantages?

Which are you inclined to believe?

APPLY: Acknowledge that God can run your business and family better than you can.

Give God control of your business and family through sincere prayer.

Final Questions (optional or in place of above)

• What is God saying to you right now?

• What are you going to do about it?

For further study, note Genesis 11 illustrates this Psalm.

Find our sermons, podcasts, discussion questions and notes at https://www.gracetoday.net/podcast

Opening story:

Hawkeye scene (See YouTube)

Video clip to open the message: https://youtu.be/DCkaS2ygh-Y Stop after “good job Hawkeye” (1:00)

While this Psalm applies to mom’s and dad’s, it feels very fatherly in tone and emphasis. Even in the gender in the NIV “Blessed is the man” is the translation. So I am applying this to Fathers in particular today believing that wherever this is taken to heart stronger marriages and families will follow. That leads to stronger neighborhoods, cities, and nations. That leads to a better world. But more likely it leads to a stronger church in a dark world.

Psalm 127 is written by either David to Solomon or by Solomon himself. Beloved is possibly a covert reference (concealed signature) to Solomon’s God-given name of Jedidiah since they use the same root word. (2 Sam 12:25) The point is that this is a special work by a father and what he does in life.

Ironically, much of Solomon’s wisdom was lost on him.

1. His building (literally and figuratively) became reckless,

2. His kingdom a ruin, and

3. His marriages a disastrous denial of God.

Warning: If we’re not careful, we’ll also have wisdom we ignore in life.

Bottom Line: Hard work + Discipline + Divine Support = Fruitfulness that will last; “For apart from me you can do nothing.” -Jesus

I. THE FOUNDATION FOR A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY (127:1-2) (WILLMINGTON)

A. What is necessary (1-2)

1. The home must be built by the Lord.

2. The home must be protected by the Lord.

B. What is needless (3-5): The breadwinners need not burn the candle at both ends and be overly anxious, for God will supply rest and what we need.

II. THE FRUITS FROM A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY (127:3-5) (WILLMINGTON): Children

A. The parents will be honored (3-4): Children are a reward and like sharp arrows.

B. The parents will be helped (5): They will not be ashamed in front of their accusers. (At the city gates i.e. in court (public?))

I. Labor is in vain without God’s providence. (1-2) (BKC)

II. Children are evidence of God’s providence. (3-5) (BKC)

“Children are some of the Lord’s providential blessings. They are a reward from the LORD. Sons help defend the family for they are like weapons (arrows) in the hand of a mighty man. Sons are capable of defending the family in civil cases (at the gate civil cases were discussed and decided). The images of arrows and of defense “in the gate” was natural for a nation endangered from without and within.” BKC

CSB Study Bible

House = physical building and/or home, family connecting

Food = hard work + favorable conditions + favor of God

Children = uncertainty of childbirth + favor of God

Bottom Line: Hard work + Discipline + Divine Support = Fruitfulness that will last; “For apart from me you can do nothing.” -Jesus

THE FOUNDATION FOR A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY (127:1-2) (WILLMINGTON)

I. Prosperity and security are not ultimately your accomplishments but God’s gifts. (127:1) (Keller)

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬ https://psalm.bible/psalm-127-1

3 Universal Preoccupations of humanity:

1. Building (Creator, producer)

2. Security

3. Raising a family

What are we spending our time building?

Will it last?

Will we wish we had worked more on our death bed?

Watchmen (security)

Uvalde shooting???? Are our children safe? Can we sleep at night?

“In vain” ≠ vanities in Ecclesiastes, though still sweeping

“Anxious toil” or “toiling” of late comes from same root word used in Gen 3:16 where Eve hears from God some of the consequences of her actions.

Hard work + Discipline + Divine Support = Fruitfulness that will last

II. So overwork, worry and strain are a) foolish, and b) wrong. (127:2) If you know that the one who loves you

unfailingly is in complete charge of history, you will be able to sleep well (verse 2).(Keller)

“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬ https://psalm.bible/psalm-127-2

Work still harder is no answer to worldly success: it can be a fresh enslavement, in fact. Not simply that projects fail (some bread) but that they lead nowhere.

“In vain you rise early and stay up late, …discipline and diligence isn’t enough (Sorry Jocko)

Why? Because the LORD gives sleep zzzzzzzzz to his beloved—true rest and peace that allows you to sleep when the enemy is out there (today’s war on children in general)

Being anxious over food…

Working long hours…

Vain unless the LORD is in it.

Trusting in the Lord leads to rest and peace because we’re not carrying the full burden but recognizing that we cannot—but He can.

Hard work + Discipline + Divine Suppor = Fruitful life in all that you do

Transition: From here on, Solomon gives the alternative to our elaborate failures.

THE FRUITS FROM A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY (127:3-5) (WILLMINGTON)

III.-V. So too thriving, happy children are God’s doing. (127:3-5) (Keller)

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬ https://psalm.bible/psalm-127-3

“Helicopter” parenting and over involvement in our children’s lives, cannot ensure their health and happiness. (Keller)

Unless the Lord enters their lives, all our watching is in vain. (Keller)

Giving our children to God is the ONLY WAY we get to keep them. (Keller)

If you know that the one who loves you unfailingly is in complete charge of IEStory, you will be able to sleep well. (Keller)

And if you are overworked and over stressed, you are forgetting who God is. Jesus wait it most bluntly: “Apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

What do parents worry about most? Their children’s future.

They are: a heritage from the Lord (he is the gracious ultimate source).

Heritage = a person’s unique source of family identity: the values, traditions, culture and artifacts handed down by previous generations.

Repeated: a reward ( a good blessing) from him (ultimate source).

Genesis 11 illustrates this Psalm:

1. Man builds for glory and security to achieve is only a fiasco “in vain” whereas

2. God quietly gives to the obscure Torah a son whose blessings havre proliferated ever since.

• Wealth isn’t the issue.

• An upstanding family is wealth and honor enough.

IV.

“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬ https://psalm.bible/psalm-127-4

Simile

How are they a heritage and reward? Like arrows to an archer—warrior/protector/rescuer readying for battle.

Full quiver of arrows represented prestige and protection in that day. (CSB)

“Like arrows for a warrior, children were useful in the agricultural society. The man who had many children also enjoyed respect in the near eastern society.” (CSB)

We’re in a war. Every day.

V.

“Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬ https://psalm.bible/psalm-127-5

Something he launches in the battle to defend and win the battle.

Our battle isn’t against flesh and blood (Ephesians 2) but against rulers and principalities beyond this world.

Are we preparing our children for that??!

Simile continues…

Someone he launches into life to enter the fray (equipped??) on their own two feet.

Assuming the Lord builds his house resting on the Lord,

• He will be blessed

• His children will not be put to shame when they battle

  • In court

  • In war

  • In life

Because if they all with the Lord too (most raised this way will) then they’ll have nothing to be ashamed of. Therefore, peace no matter the short-term outcome.

And long-term

Conclusion

Bottom Line: Hard work + Discipline + Divine Support = Fruitfulness that will last; “For apart from me you can do nothing.” -Jesus

Prodigal Father scripture Luke 15:11-32

References/Bibliography:

“Psalms 73-150” by Derek Kidner

“The Bible Knowledge Commentary” by Walvoord, Zuck (BKC)

“The Bible Exposition Commentary” by Warren Wiersbe (BEC)

“The Songs of Jesus” by Tim Keller

“Treasury of the Psalms” by Charles Spurgeon

Outline Bible, D Willmington

NIV Study Bible (NIVSB)

ESV Study Bible

ESV Gospel Transformation Bible (GTB)

CSB Study Bible

How to Build Your Family to Thrive During Chaotic Times | Colossians 3:18-25

How to Build Your Family to Thrive During Chaotic Times | Colossians 3:18-25

Darien Gabriel

Series: Colossians: Supreme!

Title: “How To Build Your Family to Thrive During Chaotic Times”

Scripture: Colossians 3:18-25, Ephesians 5:21-6:9, Matthew 7:24-27; 1 Cor 6:19-20; Romans 6:17-18

(Commentary helps listed at the end)

Last week’s Bottom line: We exchange the gross life for the good life when we embrace God’s peace and God’s word as God’s people…with thanksgiving.

Bottom line: When we gladly submit to God’s design as the blueprint of our family, we (with our spouse) will build our home/family to thrive even in chaotically evil times.

Opening story: Matt 7:24-27 parable of how to build your family to thrive in a world of chaotic evil. This is Jesus’ summary and fitting conclusion of application to his “sermon on the mount” which is essentially his kingdom manifesto.

He ends this with how to build a family that will thrive in chaotically evil times. Boy do we need to hear this!

Foundation = Rock = Jesus Christ = Living word

Sand = any other foundation material i.e. the worldly philosophies

House = Family (Home):

• Place of rest (in every way)

• Place of refuge from the world (relationally+)

• Place or base of operations (missionally)

Rain, floods, winds = storms of life (from all directions)

Hear only = foolish living = devastation

Hear + Obey = wise living = stability, security, peace

Genesis 2-3 show how God created a good world and how humanity wrecked it by our sinful and rebellious disobedience.

Domestic code of Paul’s day included gender confusion, domestic role confusion, and the evil slave/master dynamic.

At the same time, God says that all people, tribes, languages, ethnicities and nations are equally precious and valuable in his eyes. He send his son Jesus Christ to die for the sins of all people. That’s what we mean when we talk about the cross.

Transition: In a world and at a time when the world is trying to redefine the family, we must cling to God’s original definition and design if our families are going to thrive in these chaotically evil times.

Paul’s outline shows 3 pairs of relationships in relation to the male leader in the home.

In order of priority they are:

1. Wives/husbands (marriage)

2. Children/fathers (family; parenting)

3. Slaves/masters (work/culture)

Ultimately, God is our authority. All submission to people is submission to God when done correctly.

My Outline: (based on Outline Bible)

I. Wives (3:18)—Should respectfully lift up their husbands.

• God said it’s “not good for man to be alone” Gen 2:18

• Marriage - one flesh Matt 19:1-6, Eph 5:31

• Submit ≠ obey like children or slaves are to obey; it’s in context of mutual submission per Eph 5:21

• Submission is a voluntary offering of self to another in willing support motivated by glad submission to Christ who died for you

• Submission is not

  • Abusive

  • Tyrannical

  • Domineering

  • Arrogant

  • Controlling

II. Husbands (3:19)—Should sacrificially love their wives.

• As Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Eph 5:25)

  • Sacrificially

  • Selflessly

• Responsible for her emotional, physical and spiritual needs (ultimately met by Christ)

• Out of his love for Christ

• Undeserved, yet freely given

Aside: “Marriage is a covenantal union that can be defined this way:

• A sacred and exclusive union

• Performed by God

• That spiritually joins the husband and the wife with the bonds of

  • Sacrificial love and

  • Unconditional devotions,

• Reflects the relationship of Christ and his church, and

• Is ceremoniously celebrated and

• Physically consummated

• Before the Lord.

III. Children (3:20)—Should humbly listen (obey, honor) to the parents; to hear is to obey.

• Eph 6:1-4 First command with a promise

• Exod 20:12

• Out of submission to Christ

IV. Fathers (Parents) (3:21)—Should faithfully lead their children.

• Parallels submission to their Heavenly Father and teaches this, even as submission to both parents is appropriate and implied here.

• Home - where children’s hearts are cultivated to love God and submit to his authority.

• Parents should:

  • Disciple their children

  • Discipline their children

  • Not discourage their children

V. Servants/Slaves/Employees (3:22-25)—Should diligently work for their master/boss/employer.

• Not advocating for slavery.

• Staying silent on this institution for the simple reason that there’s a battle to be fought first that lays the foundation for victory later achieved.

• “Through the example of Christ, the apostles understood that the great rest need for social and cultural change was a spiritual transformation through the power of the gospel.” -Pace, p. 110

VI. Masters/Bosses/Employers (4:1)—Should justly provide for their slaves/servants/employees.

• His purchase of our freedom/forgiveness establish his ownership of us.

• 1 Cor 6:19-20; Romans 6:17-18

• Christ is our ultimate Lord and master, King and authority over all of us. He created us and redeems us!

• Christ modeled this by being equal to the Father and yet submitted to his command to come and die for us. Should we do any less?

“Paul’s instruction for masters and servants mirror his emphasis for all members of the household: ‘Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people.’” (3:23)

“This verse (3:25) summarizes and reiterates his general directive for all believers in v. 17” reminding us:

• WHAT we do matters “whatever you do”

• HOW we do it matters “do it from the heart” and

• WHY we do it matters “as something done for the Lord”

This transitions us towards the Lord’s Supper where we remember why we do all of this—because of what he did for us at the cross.

Conclusion

Back to Jesus’ parable about the 2 houses and the 2 foundations:

1. “The assumption in Jesus’ parable of the wise and foolish builders is that our homes necessarily have to endure a barrage of torrential storms.”

2. “The assurance of his parable is that those who build their homes according to God’s blueprint can withstand life’s onslaughts.”

In other words:

1. Building on the world’s philosophies will lead to family collapse.

2. Building on the Lord’s blueprint will lead to stability, security and peace despite the devastating storms around us.

Bottom line: When we gladly submit to God’s design as the blueprint of our family, we (with our spouse) will build our home/family to thrive even in chaotically evil times.

Pray

Lord’s Supper, 1 Corinthians 11:17-32

Other

My notes

Paul is giving his plan for building the church by building families. It’s built around the shared leadership of the parents who are equal in value while complementary in their roles.

Leadership is built around male leadership (1 Cor 5 & 11). There are 2 considerations here:

1. Male headship was clearly a cultural issue. Men ran the world in nearly every domain and therefore called the shots in most homes and arenas. Our culture has changed much of that for the better as women are more empowered than ever before. This is good for women, girls, the family and the culture.

2. Male headship is clearly a theological issue. Men are called to be the head of the home by God. While this goes against the grain in western culture in particular, the NT points to the creation account and the fall of humanity as the main reason for this. Eve was deceived, the apostle Paul wrote in 1 Timothy. She and Adam are both accountable for their rebellion but Paul points to Eve—not Adam—as the one deceived implying that Adam, unlike Eve, knew exactly what he was doing and yet did it anyway. In short, Eve was deceived. Adam intentionally rebelled. That said, and because Adam was created first, God appears to have ordered his family design around male headship.

We see this here in this passage as Paul talks marriage and parenting.

Aside: I can see how this might not sit well with women today. After all, I often feel like Anita is a much better spouse and parent than I’ll ever be. But God isn’t’ making this call based on our abilities. He’s basing this decision on his original design which has been distorted and corrupted by sin at the Fall. So he’s letting it play out as he tends to do with sin. Sin has consequences. Genesis 3 explains that one of those consequences is that husbands and wives will have a contentious relationship in marriage and parenting. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

It is not inevitable.

But it is out starting point.

By God’s grace, we can and should learn how to grow in our maturity as we learn together how to love unconditionally as fellow sinners saved by grace.

Other notes

I. “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” 3:18

Ephesians adds, “For the husband (not just good ones) is the head of the church his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

This is not saying wives are to be a doormat.

This is not saying wives are to be treated poorly.

This is not saying wives are to be less than God made them to be.

Women are equal to men in value and worth in God’s eyes.

Women are skilled with many abilities just like men are. Often their skills exceed those of men.

Wives are complementary in their roles to men, however. God did not give husbands and wives the exact same roles.

• Men lead the family ultimately as they follow the Lord.

• Women give birth.

• Wives are to help their husbands succeed in leading the family well.

• Husbands need their wives for the family to be healthy.

• Women are free to do just about anything her husband can do. The Bible only rules out shepherding a church or group of men.

• Women are born sinners just like men are.

II. Paul turns from wives to husbands to place the full weight of the accountability and leadership on husbands when he calls them to “love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (3:19)

There is a lot more in Ephesians 5 to go with this. Mostly, it’s love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for her. He’s willing to die for her even if she’s been unfaithful to him. To me, this is the answer to the man who wants to leave his wife who’s been unfaithful to him. Did Christ leave you when you were unfaithful to him? I didn’t think so.

This is the kind of love we’re talking about—unconditional, sacrificial love. One for life. As long as we both shall live.

If you have regrets about past marriage decisions, I hurt for you. Living with these regrets is no way to live. If you wish you had it to do over, confess your sin—your part of the pain. Own your part of the broken relationship. Repent of your sin nad then believe that God is faithful and just to forgive you of your sins and will cleanse you of all unrighteousness.

This relationship’s health impacts parenting big time. If you’re struggling with your kids misbehaving, one common reason is because they feel insecure because they sense the disunity and lack of love between their parents. They may not see it consciously but they sense it. They know things aren’t good. This causes them anxiety which manifests as misbehavior or worse. They feel insecure.

Remember, Paul is giving us God’s plan for building a healthy family, church, culture and world by reminding us this flows from our identity in Christ. When we follow Christ, we love and respect like Christ.

When we follow Christ’s blueprint for the family we…

• Gladly submit to one another as unto Christ

• Love one another as Christ loved us through the cross

• Are self-controlled bearing spiritual fruit with our spouse and kids

• Teach and discipline our kids to respect, obey and honor authority starting with God and parents (1st commandment with a promise)

• Lead humbly and respectfully our co-workers and subordinates

• We do all of this with sincerity of heart and reverence for Christ

• We do it looking forward to our inheritance

• We do it per Matt 7:24-27–because its wisdom; not foolishness

This sandwiched between 2 sections on how to move from the gross life to the good life.

• Setting our hearts and minds on things above

• Putting off sin and self

• Putting on the new self being renewed daily through

  • Scripture

  • Holy Spirit

  • Church family

• Remembering who we are in Christ

  • God’s chosen people

  • Holy

  • Dearly loved

• Behaviors befitting of our Lord and Savior

What’s your foundation: Rock or Sand?

Sand—Worldview of entitlement, blame, and selfishness.

Rock—Worldview of selfless, sacrificial love for all people surrendering al land gladly submitting to proper authorities starting with God at home.

Hearing the word AND doing the word.

Cross-references

Ephesians 5:21-6:9

Matthew 7:24-27

OTHER ILLUSTRATIONS:

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MAIN COMMENTARY HELP:

• Exalting Jesus in Colossians by Scott Pace

• Preaching the Word: Philippians, Colossians and Philemon commentary by R. Kent Hughes

• ESV Global Study Bible

• Bible in One Year by Nicky Gumbel

• Bible Knowledge Commentary

• The Outline Bible, Wilmington

• Paul for Everyone, The Prison Letters, NT Wright’s commentary on Philippians and Colossians

• Gospel Transformation Bible

• NIV Study Bible

• The Bible Exposition Commentary, Warren Wiersbe